The other day I read this on Claires Blog. I like Claires blog, I have yet to find anything on it I don't agree with, I sit there nodding away in agreement whenever I read it and this piece was no different.
And then I walked into the very situation at playschool the next morning.
A room full of upset children crying, screaming and demanding to stay with their Mum/Dad/Gran. Pleading not to be left. A room full of Mums/Dads/Grans with tears in their eyes, trying so hard not to let the children know. Heart wrenching chaos.
LA and I stood there bewildered. Not knowing what to say, but wanting to shout "take them home", "Follow those instincts, they are telling you how to act, Listen to them".
LA didn't understand why everyone was so upset - she's never been upset about playschool as I only take her when she wants to go. She couldn't understand why these children had to stay and why their Mums were being so nasty and not taking them home.
LA had a point - maybe not the best time to express it...or maybe it was. If it makes these people think a little about why they are so keen to ignore their instincts and follow what they believe society dictates they do, then good.
However, these are the same Mums who don't talk to me, who ignore me on a weekly basis, having decided (I think) that I'm not like them, I don't belong. So chances are - LAs comments will be seen in that context.
The playschool ladies came out and physically removed these children from their Mums (etc), escalating the screaming (LA trotted in happily). Assuring them as usual all would be well in 10 minutes when they had gone. So a crowd of tearful parents exited the building "for the best".
I really want to tell these people - I want to say "yes they may be ok in 10 minutes, but when you come back tomorrow (yes these people put their children in playschool 5 mornings a week) it will all start again. So why do you do it? Isn't it clear to you, the pain you are causing your child?"
But of course, its "for the best" - in 2 years time these little babes will be school age - so better get used to it now. Oh and when else could Mum get her nails done?
4 comments:
Well written. Takes me back to the days when my two were in playgroup (my first would have tears but I just didn't have the courage to take her away as it was seen as wrong ("she'll be fine" etc., etc.). Then, a few years later, I worked in a playgroup and would try my hardest to encourage some of the parents of continually tearful children to try keeping them at home - they didn't need to attend a playgroup. No one did, and most parents felt they were long due their few hours of peace! Their attitude was that their child had to get used to a school environment (even as young as 3), and this was the way to do it! I used to want to pull my hair out. Elle
It's so sad and breaks my heart. When I watched the mum on *that* programme crying while her babies cried outside on their own, that's when I cried. I could so empathise with her feelings. But still she was pleading with the 'mentor' not to bring the babies in but to help her conquer her instincts because she 'knows' it's for the best :-(
I also feel isolated at mainstream parenting places so I just don't go. I go to breastfeeding groups; and local HE groups. Then I go to a mainstream place and forget that I'm not with like-minded people and feel surprised that I'm the odd one out!
I don't watch "that" programme, it makes me fume and shout at the TV - so I switch off.
that is truly heartbreaking. don't they realize that most of the world's problems would be gone if people perceived their own conscience, their intuition, as the highest source of moral authority, rather than believing what others tell them is best??!! AARRGHH!
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