Wednesday 31 October 2007

Halloween!!

We've had a very busy day.

This morning we painted some Halloween pictures to cut out and stick around the door. LA mixed the orange without instruction from red and yellow - I was impressed!
Then we played Boggle - well, sort of Boggle. I found the game lurking upstairs on the bookcase, it belongs to BA, but I think he considers it too educational to be fun, so we "borrowed" it.
We shook the alphabet dice and picked a topic. Then we had to find related words starting with the letters shown. LA did really well, although she did invent a few words to win - but they started with the correct sound...
Then the post lady brought us some "proper" dice from eBay and we played with these for a while. LA was able to add the numbers together, which I thought she might find challenging - but as usual I was wrong.
After this I got distracted by the computer for a while, so we followed this by giving LA a bath to get the orange paint out of her hair! :-)

This afternoon we carved (chopped, scrapped and swore at) our pumpkin - well, squash. He has a very un-scary smiley face as dictated by LA.
The teddy bears were fed Pizza whether they wanted it or not and LA typed my shopping list out for me.

This evening we had a lot of friendly happy Trick and Treaters, who happily took the tiny packets of sweets LA offered them.
Unfortunately, LA decided to eat some of them and being so tiny, I made the mistake of thinking it would be ok. But no, since then we have had several food additive related tantrums and confusion.

She has gone to bed now, so here's hoping tomorrow will be calm and the additives left her system. I admit it has surprised me how little it takes to upset her.
To quote every teacher I ever had: "Julie must try harder".

And to all our Pagan friends:
"Happy Halloween" never seems an appropriate phrase, so here's hoping that all of you who have experienced grief find comfort and solace in this time of year and may your loved ones experience peace wherever they may be.
Blessed Be.
xxx

Tuesday 30 October 2007

Today...

...we were brave and visited the Home Ed group in Leicester.
Brave - because I'll never get medals for being Mrs Sociable, in fact I'll never even be nominated. It's not that I'm awkward or shy, it's just that I am comfortable with me and forget that I "should" talk to others.
Anyhow, it was good. LA and I felt very welcome. But we left our lunch on the stairs at home (as you do) ...so we left early.
However, I learnt something today about LA.
LA doesn't need friends at the moment. I thought she did - I thought that the reason she had so many invisible friends (Jake, Milo, Bella, Fizz, Judy, Max and Doodles, and Razziedazzie and Jamie, and Gran...) was that she was lonely and longing for company.
I now realise that she lives in her own world - because she chooses to. She is capable of chatting and playing with other children - but she prefers the world that she can control. She's not yet at that stage of being able to happily play a game according to others "rules". She panics and runs back to me.
She's a serious gentle little soul, who gets genuinely upset when other people treat their dollies and teddies badly - so maybe she feels safer in the imaginary world where she can keep things safe.

So I will stop worrying and continue to give her opportunities to play with other people.
I will also try really really hard not to get to frustrated when Jake and Bella refuse to walk up the road and we have to wait for them.

Things that make me go...Grrrr

1. The mother of the child in a cafe this lunchtime, who was so busy on her mobile that she didn't even try to stop her son running around screaming (that's screaming - not crying).

2. The mother in the car with all the windows shut in the car park, smoking. Her 3 children sitting patiently breathing in carcinogenic smoke in the back.

3. The father on the underground last week, who got so so so excessively angry because his young son kissed the window.

4. My dog barking and demanding to come back in, when she's just demanded to go out.

5. My colleagues at work who think that "hot desking" is an excuse to loose all manners and dump my coat, bag and work papers on top of a filing cabinet, close my work on the computer and log me off because I leave the room for 5 minutes. Just because the desk I'm using is by the window, and they prefer it to the other unoccupied ones. OHHH this one makes me SO mad - I can feel my anger rising just writing it.

6. Getting so stressed about a desk. Especially when number 3 was almost to the point of physical violence.

Monday 29 October 2007

London

Well, that's it, I've finally hit the big 40 and that's all I'm ever going to say on the matter!

Rich took LA and myself to London for a couple of days last week. We stayed in a very nice 4 * hotel in the Docklands and had a lovely time.
I'm not really a city girl, but it was a good choice of location considering we had LA with us. We also didn't do any of those "grown up" things that adults do when they visit the big city, such as seeing a show, or dining in posh restaurants and drinking fine wine.
No, we toured the sites via the underground (Underground Ernie - obviously) and taxi and ate in "as much as you can eat for a fiver" places.
But don't think this lessened the charm - grabbing hot chestnuts on the street was excellent, the hallucinating lady on the underground was fascinating and the airport just across from our hotel was a wonderful distraction for LA.

I'll post some pictures later.

Sunday 21 October 2007

Sadness

I have a deep ongoing sadness at the moment.
I don't know why, there seems to be no reason.
I don't think that anyone around me has noticed, as I'm able to get on with life as usual.
But when I stop - I'm sad, sometimes to the point of tears.

I've been trying the obvious - "don't stop" strategy, but it's not working for me.

Hey ho...

Wednesday 17 October 2007

Grumpies at Bumpi's

"Can we go to Bumpi's?"
"Yes, ok then, I don't see why not"
Into the car pile an exhausted Mum and over excited 3 year old.

We lasted 40 minutes.
From the moment the shoes came off, the moaning and crying started.
Nothing was right - the slides were too high, the bricks too crowded, the climbing too scary and the other children kept bumping her

Even exhausted Mum tried to play - but not LA.

So we gave up and came home.

Sunday 14 October 2007

Silly Billy

Rich, LA and I went to see "Silly Billy" at the Phoenix yesterday. LA hadn't been to the theatre before and was very excited!
LA enjoyed herself (so did Rich and I), and made several loud comments about the play "Shoes don't dance!" - which we took as good proof that she was happy.
We are thinking of trying to get seats for "Lazy Town" in April next year.
Unfortunately I don't think she's quite up to sitting through a Panto this year. Shame, I love Panto - still it will be fun next year (oh no it won't!).

Sorry...

Wednesday 10 October 2007

Showing off

Anyone who doesn't want to hear about how wonderful my daughter is, should leave now. Look I'll even give you a link to Google, so that you can leave quickly.
I warn you - show off mode is about to be turned on.....

Still here? Oh well, don't say you weren't warned!


LA is remarkable. I'm her Mum and obviously I'm going to think that. But she is...honest!
I remember when she was born, a friend of ours took one look at her and said "She's been here before this one". Obviously I thought she was bonkers and changed the subject, but over the last 3 1/2 years, those words have frequently revisited.

LA is remarkable. She knows things she shouldn't. She knows things we have never told her. She knows things and she knows she knows them.

She has always surprised us with her knowledge. She has been able to write the letters for several months. She is teaching herself to read. She knows her numbers up to 100 and beyond. She knows what ingredients you need to make a cake and biscuits. She knows different types of flowers and trees. She knows so so so much.

But this morning was amazing.
She was happily typing out my shopping list on the computer. I had just told her we needed milk, when the phone rang. When I returned - she had written "milk" and was waiting for the next item.
I looked for her older siblings (where were they? Hiding on the stairs?) who had obviously told her how to spell "Milk".
No, they were both at college.

She is a sponge, absorbing the word around her silently and without comment most of the time. She surprises me so much with her knowledge and confidence. I know that compared with reading and learning to write, managing to spell the word "Milk" without help isn't really remarkable - but the confidence she does it with is.

I don't believe that she "has been here before", it just doesn't fit in with my belief system. But I can see why people would believe that.

It makes me realise how right our decision to home educate her is. She doesn't need a teacher, she can manage without.
I don't remember seeing this innate desire to learn in my older children, but maybe, sadly, I just wasn't looking.

Rota-man

Its been a peaceful week, thankfully. I'm coming to the end of 3 weeks of nights shifts, so peace is gratefully accepted. Quite how I managed to get so many nights all in one go, I'm not certain. Perhaps I upset the "rota - man".

Rota -man is currently organising the Xmas rota. He's a very nice man, we like rota-man. (Do you hear me Rota-man??? We think you're nice! Don't disappoint us!)

Tuesday 2 October 2007

"For the best"

The other day I read this on Claires Blog. I like Claires blog, I have yet to find anything on it I don't agree with, I sit there nodding away in agreement whenever I read it and this piece was no different.

And then I walked into the very situation at playschool the next morning.
A room full of upset children crying, screaming and demanding to stay with their Mum/Dad/Gran. Pleading not to be left. A room full of Mums/Dads/Grans with tears in their eyes, trying so hard not to let the children know. Heart wrenching chaos.
LA and I stood there bewildered. Not knowing what to say, but wanting to shout "take them home", "Follow those instincts, they are telling you how to act, Listen to them".
LA didn't understand why everyone was so upset - she's never been upset about playschool as I only take her when she wants to go. She couldn't understand why these children had to stay and why their Mums were being so nasty and not taking them home.
LA had a point - maybe not the best time to express it...or maybe it was. If it makes these people think a little about why they are so keen to ignore their instincts and follow what they believe society dictates they do, then good.
However, these are the same Mums who don't talk to me, who ignore me on a weekly basis, having decided (I think) that I'm not like them, I don't belong. So chances are - LAs comments will be seen in that context.

The playschool ladies came out and physically removed these children from their Mums (etc), escalating the screaming (LA trotted in happily). Assuring them as usual all would be well in 10 minutes when they had gone. So a crowd of tearful parents exited the building "for the best".

I really want to tell these people - I want to say "yes they may be ok in 10 minutes, but when you come back tomorrow (yes these people put their children in playschool 5 mornings a week) it will all start again. So why do you do it? Isn't it clear to you, the pain you are causing your child?"

But of course, its "for the best" - in 2 years time these little babes will be school age - so better get used to it now. Oh and when else could Mum get her nails done?

Monday 1 October 2007

zzzzzzzzzz

On night shifts so can't blog.

Can't think!